Four Reasons Why Tavarish Is The Best On Jalopnik

"Raphmoe" (raphmoe)
11/18/2014 at 12:48 • Filed to: None

Another great post by Tavarish today. Absolutely great stuff, I now want a E39 540i. In honor, I created a quick list of why Tavarish kicks ass:

1. His posts create controversy and discussion which leads to lots of clicks and page views.

2. He knows how best to spend other people's money so nobody buys a bad car.

3. He is a mechanic who is knowledgeable and well trained.

4. His posts focus on cars that we all lust after.

DISCUSSION (38)

For Sweden > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 12:50

5. He has no last name, like Madonna. People without last names are universally successful.

CalzoneGolem > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 12:51

Well we just figured out what Tavarish's alternate account it.

Raphmoe > For Sweden
11/18/2014 at 12:51

Like my favorite musician: Sting.

Kinja'd!!!

EL_ULY > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 12:59

#3 = true jalop. Get your hands dirty kiddos!

Textured Soy Protein > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 13:01

His "you can get a ____ for the price of a ____" posts irritate me to no end. He finds good, higher mileage used cars, but the comparison part irks me because he never states the prices or mileage of the car he's talking about.

For example, You Can Buy A Beautiful Porsche 911 Carrera For The Price Of A Camry is technically true, but:

1. The Camry in question is a "base model V6," except Toyota no longer offers the V6 on the lower trim levels, so the cheapest Camry V6 is an XSE which starts at $32,195.

2. The Porsche in question is a 2006 with 85k miles on it. But the only way you'd know that (or the price of the Porsche) is to click through to the ebay link.

And that's the pattern with every "you can get a ____ for the price of a ____" post.

Argh.

Raphmoe > Textured Soy Protein
11/18/2014 at 13:03

Do you want him to click the mouse for you too?

505Turbeaux > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 13:05

I have seen a few posts where I question his mechanical prowess on anything complicated. But that could be him dumbing down the material to appeal to a broader audience

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 13:05

Wait- Is this multiple choice? 2... no, 1... uh...

Raphmoe > With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username
11/18/2014 at 13:07

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Post cool, funny, interesting stuff that you've found online or made yourself that you think has a strong chance of going viral and being shared by other people. Better yet, post lists of things. Here are some examples of awesome lists that you can look at for inspiration. BuzzFeed's Jalopnik's editors will feature the best posts from BuzzFeed's Jalopnik's community on our front page every day.

nermal > Textured Soy Protein
11/18/2014 at 13:14

My biggest complaint about these posts is the lack of running costs for a true TCO.

Put the extra 5 min into finding out the maintenance schedule for the next 3 yrs / 36k would be extremely beneficial to the comparisons.

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 13:14

Ohmygosh, LISTS. You may be on to something.

Raphmoe > 505Turbeaux
11/18/2014 at 13:15

Hard to say, which ones in particular?

Gamecat235 > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 13:17

4 Reasons why [redacted] is the [redacted] [redacted] on [redacted]

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Because they [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] which leads to [redacted] [redacted] and [redacted].

[redacted]

Page Views.

[redacted]. Plus neither they, nor I, can count!

Profit!

Textured Soy Protein > Raphmoe
11/18/2014 at 13:24

You would think, while writing a post about how one car is cheaper than another car, prices—and mileage on the used car—might come into the picture at some point. But they never do. Just tell us the damn price.

Because really, it's too easy to cherry pick a bunch of cars that sound like they should cost more than some other car but actually cost less. Even with brand new cars. For example, cars that start out cheaper than a fully loaded Camry XLE Hybrid (MSRP $35,395) include:

Acura TLX
Audi A3
Audi Q3
BMW X1
BMW 2-series
BMW 3-series
Cadillac ATS
Infiniti Q40
Infiniti QX50
Lexus CT200
Volvo S60

But if I make a headline that says, "You can get a beautiful (insert any of the above cars here) for less than the price of a Toyota Camry," it's like, OMG I HAD NO IDEA A BMW 3-SERIES WAS SO CHEAP THAT IT'S LESS THAN A CAMRY.

BrtStlnd > Gamecat235
11/18/2014 at 13:33

FUCK YOU. [redacted] only makes beige shitboxes now... they've totally lost their way and all they care about is profit now, not making incredible cars.

Gamecat235 > BrtStlnd
11/18/2014 at 13:36

I don't think you understood my original [redacted]. [redacted] is clearly on the correct path, and their [redacted] show this.

Also, [redacted] has only followed the [redacted] in seeking more profits and to keep their customers and shareholders happy.

BrtStlnd > Gamecat235
11/18/2014 at 13:37

You [redacted] fanboys are all the same.

bob and john > 505Turbeaux
11/18/2014 at 14:44

ehh, givin the fact that he did what he did to his S500, id say he is just dumbing it down.

Driving_Impaired > Textured Soy Protein
11/18/2014 at 16:22

like the old saying goes, "if it were easy, everyone would do it"

I am constantly amazed at all the people that bitch about his comparison articles. What the fuck are you actually mad about? I mean seriously? WHAT. IS. YOUR. FUCKING. POINT.

Textured Soy Protein > Driving_Impaired
11/18/2014 at 16:47

I wouldn't bitch if he simply included the year, mileage and price of the used car, along with the trim, options, etc. of the new car.

It would be super easy for him to say in the article (not the headline):

"You can get this 2006 911 Carerra 4 with 85k miles for $30,990. A brand new Camry XSE V6 costs $32,195."

It doesn't make the headline any less true, it just fills in the details rather than being all "OMG PORSCHE FOR LESS THAN CAMRY."

In his very first one of these posts, before he was auto-shared to the front page, I commented that he should maybe include the prices in the post. He responded that he added a link to the ebay page.

When he compared the price of something (an M6 maybe?) to a Chevy Cruze, after some bitching in the comments by people other than me he specified that he was talking about a Cruze Diesel. Which he still didn't say the price of, but it's like $12k more than a base Cruze.

Since then, it's pretty obvious that his template is to specifically avoid including details on prices, trims, mileage, etc. Which is irritating, because the posts would be better with that info.

Jonathan Harper > 505Turbeaux
11/20/2014 at 13:24

He's pretty forthcoming about not having any formal mechanic skills. He's just a resourceful guy who is good at teaching himself stuff/just learning from the internet.

505Turbeaux > Jonathan Harper
11/20/2014 at 13:51

ah okay, this sounds about right. Much respect to him, just took a bit of exception to number 3 in this post

Jonathan Harper > 505Turbeaux
11/20/2014 at 14:04

I agree.

505Turbeaux > Jonathan Harper
11/20/2014 at 14:05

then again it is Raphmoe :)

Jonathan Harper > 505Turbeaux
11/20/2014 at 14:07

haha ya must be taken with a grain of...something.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > 505Turbeaux
11/23/2014 at 04:15

Anything in particular you'd like me to address?

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Raphmoe
11/23/2014 at 04:15

Thanks!

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Textured Soy Protein
11/23/2014 at 04:20

Right. The Base Model V6 is a Camry V6 with no options ticked, which started at $32k, by your own admission. The Porsche was $31k, hence my title. The Porsche was used, I linked to the Porsche classified advertisement where all the available information was listed. For some reason this information is troubling to you?

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > nermal
11/23/2014 at 04:22

But I'm not comparing running costs, only purchase prices. My posts are a starting point, not an exhaustive comparison on ownership costs. If you're interested, it's up to you to see if the financials work for your situation. I'm here merely to outline options you might not have considered.

Rudy Davidson > Raphmoe
11/23/2014 at 05:12

Couldn't agree more.

505Turbeaux > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
11/23/2014 at 09:06

not at all. I know you are putting out how to's for the people, and people need that. Just keep it going at a level most can grasp. Totally not a knock on you at all.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > 505Turbeaux
11/23/2014 at 09:10

Thanks! I'd also like to be as technical as possible, so feel free to chime in if I've missed something. I do try to keep the general reader engaged, so I won't go into every nut and bolt, but I appreciate the input! :)

505Turbeaux > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
11/23/2014 at 09:14

oh yeah man. Ill keep my eyes peeled for your posts, though I don't venture to the FP all that often. What is next on how to's without tipping your hand?

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > 505Turbeaux
11/23/2014 at 09:19

Not sure yet, I'm sure I'll come up with something interesting. I think How To Take Pics Of Cars At Night may be up soon.

505Turbeaux > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
11/23/2014 at 09:26

haha well I need that one for myself...

I have seen timing belt, brakes how-to's. I think a good preventative series would be helpful. How many times does a thorough chassis and suspension lube get passed over. Not that alot of newer cars have grease fittings on anything but alot of older ones need it and alot of people might have a grease gun and not know ALL the places to look. Coolant flushes, including how to flush a heater core, how to diagnose A/C issues, stuff like that at first blush would be some good things to see.

Textured Soy Protein > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
11/23/2014 at 11:34

The information in and of itself isn't troubling. But that information isn't in your posts. I had to click through to your ebay link, and then go to Toyota's configurator on their site, just to see what you were talking about.

My whole complaint is that you make these comparisons, but you leave out specifics. Because like I was saying before, your posts are all about Car A being cheaper than Car B, and yet there are no numbers in your posts.

Seriously, why not include the following in your posts?

Year, mileage, options and price of used car

Options and price of new car

You wouldn't lose anything by including this information. Yet you seem like you're actively avoiding including it.

Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez > Textured Soy Protein
11/23/2014 at 11:41

And here's where it gets technical. Without getting pedantic and boring, I'll say the reason why I don't include every detail of the car I'm writing about is to entice the reader to come back for more. That's about as simple as I can make it.

Textured Soy Protein > Freddy "Tavarish" Hernandez
11/23/2014 at 11:51

I'm not trying to be a dick here, but it just seems very counterintuitive to me to have an ongoing series of posts about the prices of cars, where none of the posts include a single dollar amount.

Frankly, I highly doubt that including prices to back up your comparison would diminish your traffic generated by your headlines. Hell, keep your headlines completely the same.

Therefore, I propose an experiment.

Just once, include the prices in your post. Not the headline. See what happens. If the traffic goes to shit because you included prices, then go back to withholding them.

I'll bet you one million internet samoleons (actual cash value: zero US dollars—see, I included a price!) that it won't make a huge difference.